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John Claire. A short summary of this paper. But reading fast is another story. Learning how to read faster can promote vast and empowering benefits for you in your life. Almost all facets of our lives intersect with a form of reading. We read street signs to know how to navigate our vehicles on the roadways. We read calendars on our phones to keep track of our schedules.
We read email at work to keep up-to-date with projects and meetings. A simple, specific question: Could an agricultural salesperson sell more seed simply by looking at a farm? I can still recall the earliest days, sitting at a knotty-pine table over meals of hot pork tenderloins and roast corn, when my father was working through his observations. Definitely a Blue. New and experimental livestock and buildings?
I spent my free time in the computer lab, pouring my soul into programs through my fingertips. While I was studying, my father perfected his wizardlike ability to understand people. My father and I always remained close and spoke to each other most weeks, even though we were at different milestones in our lives.
While I was studying at the University of Iowa, my father sat me down and asked me about contributing to his venture. Together, we built a software system that would produce reports about human behavior. Over time, we escaped the frigid winters in the Midwest of the United States, relocated ourselves, our families, and our business to sunny and warm Scottsdale, Arizona.
In the late nineties, we began using the web for distribution of our famed assessments. Today, we have a thriving business with distributors all over the world. Up until now, you might have wondered why you are so different. Human behavior is, for the most part, complex and nebulous.
In some cases, the people around us are idiotic. It is both easy and dangerous to categorize someone who behaves differently from you as ignorant, wrong, or even thickheaded. My father has since passed on. But the purpose we invoked, to reveal human potential, continues to live on.
I hope you will pull away some practical advice in communicating effectively with each type. But the most important lesson that you can walk away with is that the idiots who surround you are, in fact, not idiots at all.
Instead, they are individuals worthy of respect, understanding, and being valued. Anyone can use the frameworks outlined in this book to get ahead in the game of life. And nobody wants that. It was easy to talk to some of my friends; in any conversation, we always found the right words and everything just flowed smoothly. There were never any conflicts, and we liked one another. With other people, however, everything just went wrong. Why was speaking to some people so easy, while others were total blockheads?
It was just incomprehensible. I began using different methods to test people. I tried to say the same things in similar contexts just to see what reaction I got. Sometimes it actually worked and an interesting discussion developed. On other occasions, nothing happened at all. People just stared at me as if I were from another planet, and sometimes it really felt that way. Because some people in my circle of friends reacted in a normal way that meant, of course, that they were automatically the good guys.
What other explanation could there possibly be? I was the same all the time! Certain people just had something wrong with them. In later years, however, all of this changed.
When I was twenty-five years old, I met with a man who was self-employed. Now in his sixties, Sture had founded his own business and built it up for many years.
I was given the task of interviewing him just before a new project was to be implemented. We started talking about how things were functioning in his organization. One of the very first comments Sture made was that he was surrounded by idiots. I remember laughing at the time because I thought it was a joke. But he truly meant what he said. His face turned crimson as he explained to me that the people working in Department A were complete idiots, every single one of them.
In Department B you found only fools who understood nothing at all. They were the worst of all! The more I listened to him, the more I realized that there was something very odd about this story. I asked him if he really believed that he was surrounded by idiots. He glared at me and explained that very few of his employees were worth having. Sture had no issue letting his employees know how he felt. This meant that his employees learned to avoid him. No one dared to have one-to-one meetings with him; he never got to hear bad news because he would often shoot the messenger.
At one of the offices, a warning light had even been mounted at the entrance to the building. Discreetly placed above the reception desk, the light went red when he was there and turned green when he was away. Everyone knew about this. Not only staff but even clients would automatically cast a nervous glance at the light to find out what awaited them when they stepped over the threshold.
If the light was red, some people would simply turn back at the door, deciding to come back at a more opportune time. What was worse was that Sture understood exactly what I had implied. What I implicitly asked was: Who is actually the idiot here? Sture threw me out. Later on, I was told that what he really wanted to do was fetch a shotgun and shoot me.
This incident got me thinking. Here was a man who would soon retire. He was obviously a proficient entrepreneur, highly respected for his sound knowledge of his particular line of business.
Since I was from outside the company, I could easily see how wrong his thinking was. It was an utterly appalling thought to have to go through life constantly thinking that I was surrounded by people who were impossible to work with.
It would make my own potential in life so unbelievably limited. I tried to see myself in the mirror. The decision was easy to make. After a particularly toxic meeting with him and some of his unfortunate colleagues, I sat in the car with a lump in my stomach. The meeting had been a total disaster. Everyone was furious.
I would be encountering people for the rest of my life, no matter what my profession was, and it was easy to see that I would benefit by being able to understand them. I immediately began to study how to understand the people who initially seem so difficult. Why are some people silent, why do others never stop talking, why do some people always tell the truth while others never do? Why do some of my colleagues always arrive on time, while others rarely manage to?
And even why did I like some people more than others? The knowledge I acquired has changed me as a person, as a friend, as a colleague, as a son, as a husband, and as the father of my children.
These four terms are the primary behavior types, which describe how people sees themselves in relationship to their environment. Each of these behavior types is associated with a color—Red, Yellow, Green, and Blue.
This system is also commonly called the DISC system, where the final letter of the acronym stands for Compliance instead of Analytic ability. I have used variations of this tool for over twenty years with excellent results. But how do you become really, truly proficient at handling different types of people?
There are, of course, various methods. The most common method is to research the matter and learn the basics. Just like learning to ride a bike—you have get on the bike first.
Only then do you realize what you need to do. For many years now, my patience with people who are the complete opposite of me has been far greater.
I have one thing to thank Sture for—he awakened my interest in the subject. Without him, this book would probably never have been written. What can you do to increase your knowledge about how people relate and communicate? A good start may be to keep reading this book—the whole book, not just the first three chapters. With a little luck, in a few minutes you can begin the same journey I began twenty years ago.
I promise you will not regret it. Let me explain. Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and preconceived ideas.
What remains is ultimately the message that he understands. For many different reasons, he can interpret what you want to convey in a totally different way than you intended.
What is actually understood will, naturally, vary depending on who you are speaking to, but it is very rare that the entire message gets through exactly as you conceived it in your mind. It may feel depressing knowing that you have so little control over what your listener understands. This is one of the many challenges of communication. However, most people are aware of and sensitive to how they want to be treated.
By adjusting yourself to how other people want to be treated, you become more effective in your communication. Why Is This So Important? You help other people understand you by creating a secure arena for communication—on their terms. Then the listener can use his energy to understand rather than to consciously or unconsciously react to your manner of communicating.
All of us need to develop our flexibility and so be able to vary our style of communication, adapting it when we speak to people who are different from us. Here we find another truth: No matter what method you choose to communicate with, as an individual, you will always be in the minority.
No matter what kind of behavior you have, the majority of people around you will function differently from you. This understanding will also dramatically increase your ability to get through to the person in question. We could add psychological aspects, graphology, age, and astrology and still not get a percent complete picture.
And yet even with all this information communication remains a fascinating and puzzling topic. People are not Excel spreadsheets. Even the youngest child is far more intricate than anything that could be conveyed in a book. However, we can avoid the most blatant blunders by understanding the basics of human communication.
Thus, we assess and appraise each other through what we see that we do. Different behavior patterns are what creates dynamism in our lives. We can recognize ourselves in certain behavior patterns, but other forms of behavior we neither recognize nor understand. Besides, each of us acts differently in different situations, which can be a source of either joy or irritation for those around us. Though individual actions can, of course, be right or wrong, there is really no pattern of behavior that is right or wrong.
There is no such thing as proper behavior or incorrect behavior. No matter how you choose to behave, no matter how you are perceived, you are fine. Within reasonable limits, of course. To always be able to act and behave precisely as you feel at the time? You can do that. You can behave exactly as you wish. All you have to do is find the right situation in which to do so.
In your solitude, you can behave exactly the way you feel. The second situation where you can completely be yourself is when all the other people in the room are exactly like you. What did our mothers teach us? Treat others as you want to be treated. Excellent advice and very well intentioned.
And it works, too—as long as everyone is just like you. All you need to do is make a list of all the people you know who believe, think, and act exactly like you in all situations. Now just give them a call and start hanging out. In any other situation, it might be a good idea to understand how you are perceived and to learn how other people function. Words can have incredible power, but the words we choose and how we use them vary. As you have seen from the title of this book, there are different interpretations of—yes, you got it —words.
Surrounded by Idiots—or Not? What does this actually mean? As I was writing, the following analogy hit me: Behavior patterns are like a toolbox. All types are needed. Depending on the occasion, a tool can sometimes be right and sometimes be wrong. Some people are opposed to the idea of sorting people into different behavior types. However, everyone does it, perhaps in another way than I do in this book, but we all register our differences nonetheless.
The fact remains that we are different, and in my opinion, pointing that out can be something positive if you do it in the right way.
Improperly used, every tool can be harmful. The rest is up to you. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Sune Gellberg and Edouard Levit for so generously sharing both their experience and their training materials.
Every person reacts in a habitual manner in similar situations. We often react in consistent patterns. And understand our own. We should learn to listen, act, speak openly, and reflect in order to do what is relevant right now. Everyone can adapt. We should be able to observe and consider most forms of behavior without being amateur psychologists.
Everyone can take note of the people around them. We should be able to understand why people feel and do what they do—right now. Everyone can think about why. Succeed in your own conditions. Dismiss personal jealousy and complaints. Learn to have tolerance and patience, both with yourself and with others. Where does our behavior come from? Why are people so different? Search me! The temperament and character traits we have inherited affect our behavior, a process already begun at the genetic stage.
Exactly how this works is still a bone of contention among scientists, but all are in agreement that it does come into play. Not only do we inherit traits from our own parents but also from their parents—also in varying degrees from other relatives. At some point or other, we have all heard that we speak like or look like an uncle or an aunt.
As a child, I resembled my uncle Bertil—something to do with my red hair. To explain how this is genetically possible would take a tremendous amount of time. For the moment, let us just establish that this inheritance lays the foundation for our behavioral development. What happens once we are born? In most cases, children are born impulsive, adventurous, without any barriers whatsoever. A child does exactly what he wants.
This kind of spontaneous and sometimes uncontrolled behavior is, of course, not always what his parents wished for. How Are Children Influenced? Children learn and develop in multiple ways, but the most common is by imitation. A child mimics what he sees around him, the parent of the same sex often becoming the model for imitation.
This is clearly not an exhaustive study on how the process works, as this book is not about how we influence our children. These are the things I learned from my parents as a child or that I learned in school when I was very young. She was really strong. Another important core value is that all people are of equal worth. Because my parents demonstrated this to me during my childhood, I know it is deeply wrong to judge a person based on his or her origin, sex, or color.
All of us carry many such core values. We know instinctively what is right and what is not. No one can take these core values away from me. Attitudes and Approaches The next layer is my attitudes, which are not exactly the same thing as core values.
Attitudes are things I have formed opinions about based on my own experiences or on conclusions I have drawn from encounters in the latter part of my schooling, high school, college, or my first job. Even experiences later on in life can form attitudes. A sweater, a sofa, a car—the buying process was endless.
Every fact had to be examined and explored. No matter how much research she did beforehand, she always wanted to return her purchases afterwards.
Once I had observed the pattern, I asked her why she did this, and she explained the reasoning behind her attitude: Eighty-five percent of all salespeople were swindlers. Explaining that I too was a salesperson had little effect. The important thing is that an attitude can change. My relative had probably been badly fooled a number of times and therefore learned to distrust salespeople. However, if she had a number of positive experiences her opinion could change.
The Results Both my core values and my attitudes affect how I choose my behavior. Together they form my core behavior, the real person I want to be.
My core behavior is how I act in complete freedom, without the influence of any external factors at all. You probably already see the issue here: When are we ever completely free from external influences? But people are different. The stronger your self-understanding is, the greater your probability of adapting to the people around you.
The people around you most often see your moderated behavior. You interpret a specific situation and make a choice about how to act based on that evaluation—this is the behavior that others around you experience. We all have several different masks. And another one for visiting the in-laws, perhaps. This book is not an advanced course in psychology—but I am content to establish that we interpret situations differently and act accordingly.
Consciously or subconsciously, surrounding factors cause me to choose a particular course of action. And this is how we act. Behavior is that which we can observe. Personality is what we try to figure out. Surrounding factors are things that we have an influence on.
Conclusion: We continually affect one another in some form or other. And this book is all about behavior. Otherwise, you can always go directly to page As you can see, there are four main categories of behavior types, each of which is associated with a color. This book is about how you can recognize them. Quite soon, as you start reading about the different colors, various faces will come to mind. Sometimes, maybe, even your own. About 80 percent of all people have a combination of two colors that dominate their behavior.
Approximately 5 percent have only one color that dominates behavior. The others are dominated by three colors. Entirely Green behavior, or Green in combination with one other color, is the most common. The least common is entirely Red behavior, or Red behavior in combination with one other color. Many people you meet possess qualities that you sometimes wish you had—you may even feel jealous of these people.
They easily master things that you struggle with. Naturally, it works the other way as well. You are going to read things that will help you realize that you too boss others around a bit too much, just like Reds tend to do.
Or that you talk way too much, something that Yellows do. Here you can learn to see your own pitfalls and how you can take appropriate measures to get around them. No matter what you learn about yourself and others, take notes, underline things, and engage with the material. This is the behavior type that Hippocrates in his theory of human temperament called choleric.
Nowadays you might call a Red person bold, ambitious, driven, but also potentially hot- tempered, rash, or dominant. A Red person is a dynamic and driven individual. He has goals in life that others may find difficult to even imagine.
Since his goals are so highly ambitious, achieving them seems to be impossible. Reds strive forward, always pushing themselves harder, and they almost never give up. Their belief in their own ability is unsurpassed. They carry inside them the firm belief that they can achieve anything—if they just work hard enough. People who have lots of Red in their behavior are task- oriented extroverts and they enjoy challenges. They make quick decisions and are often comfortable taking the lead and taking risks.
A common perception is that Reds are natural leaders. These are people who willingly take command and go to the fore. They are so driven that they will get through despite any obstacle in their path. Their disposition is ideal in competitive situations.
This form of competition is present in everything Reds do. Pelle, one of my former neighbors, liked competing so much that he developed entirely new interests just to compete. I like working in the garden, and so I spend quite some time doing so. He started one project after another, always with a single but very clear objective: to outdo me.
He confounded his wife by digging new flower beds, planting a rainbow of unbelievably fabulous plants, and cultivating the lawn to golf-course standard. The only thing I needed to do to keep him going was to merely suggest that I would purchase more plants. Who talks the loudest? Who goes all out when explaining something?
Reds again. Who, during an otherwise pleasant dinner, makes categorical comments on just about any topic? And who will judge an entire country based on something he saw on television? Something is always happening in the lives of Red people. Idle time is wasted time.
Life is short; better get going immediately. Do you recognize the type? Always on the go. When asked a specific question, they often say exactly what they think, without any frills. They see no need to wrap things up in a bunch of empty phrases. When a thought pops into their heads, everyone knows it immediately. They have opinions on most things, and they trot their thoughts out quickly and efficiently.
A common remark is that Reds are very honest, because they dare to express their personal truths to people. If you need someone with extra energy, you may want to invite a Red into the team or project group. They fight tirelessly along when others have already given up—if they are determined to succeed, that is. A task that has become humdrum or meaningless could be totally ignored by a Red. I call this phenomenon slog or split.
If the task is important enough, a Red will go through fire and water to complete it. If he feels it has no purpose, into the trash it goes. Can I Win Something? So Reds like competing. They appreciate the slight antagonism that is part of being competitive and the glorious moment of winning. It can be passing a slow walker on the street, finding the absolutely best parking spot, or dominating the family game of Monopoly— despite the fact that the purpose of the game is to entertain the kids and none of the other adults are actually competing.
For a Red, this is all natural because he sees himself as a winner. Let me give you an example. I once worked for a company where the CEO was Red. He was energetic and efficient—and consequently incredibly dynamic. No meetings were as short and sweet as those run by this CEO. But his weak spot was the competitive element. As a young man he had played soccer, and every spring at this particular workplace they held a soccer tournament.
It was very popular, even before he joined the company. Naturally, he had to take part. The problem was that as soon as he got out on the field he became a different person. On fire with his competitive drive, he flattened anyone who stood in his way.
He competed in traffic, on the soccer field, in business. No area was too insignificant not to become a competition. He even raced to see how quickly he could finish reading a book. One hundred pages an hour was a reasonable pace. His wife had even banned him from playing a memory card game with his children, who were five and six years old. Since they had better memories than he did, they won most of the time, and in his frustration he intimidated them. Before you conclude that this guy sounds rather unsympathetic, we need to look at his intentions.
This kind of intensive and competitive behavior often upsets other people because they think it is all about dominating and suppressing others. Nothing could be further from the truth. His intentions were almost never malicious. He just wanted to win. This is one of the greatest challenges for Reds. Later on in this book, I will share some simple ways that you can deal with these individuals.
If you are in a meeting and suddenly notice that one of the other participants is devoting his time to something completely different, it may well be a Red who has lost interest. If you look closer, you will realize that his thoughts are elsewhere— on the next step in the process being discussed, for example.
Because Reds are quick thinkers, they move on long before everyone else. Few things annoy Reds more than sluggishness.
Get it together! How hard can it be? When other people may find it difficult to make a decision, Reds are prepared to make quick decisions in order to keep things moving. With a Red on the team, nothing will be discussed ad infinitum. The advantage is obvious.
As soon as a task becomes unclear or is taking too long, a Red will ensure that the momentum is maintained and spur things along. Chop-chop, done in double time. About fifteen years ago I began working for a small consulting company with about a dozen employees.
It was a polished organization with a great spirit of entrepreneurship and excellent momentum in business dealings. One of the reasons why they were so efficient was because the founder of the company was a Red.
No meeting took longer than was absolutely necessary. In my second or third week in the new job, I was sitting in a traffic jam when my cell phone rang. Impatiently he interrupted me and spit out his question. Eight seconds. However, I must admit that the whole episode had me worried a little—at least on that occasion. Only three weeks at the company and the big chief himself calls, and sounding irritated!
But at the same time, here was a person with a capacity to work far more than normal. He still has an exceptional ability to make the most of any free time. If he has a gap of five minutes in his schedule he manages to squeeze in an email, a phone call, and go through some meeting minutes. From the outside, this may seem like an unnecessary pursuit of efficiency.
But a Red detests inactivity. Things must happen. Add to this a sense of constant urgency, and a great deal will get done. Or Is It? For a Red, a realistic budget is a budget for cowards. Reds love difficult tasks, so their level of ambition is usually boundless. Memory Master Tips. Tip 1: Start memorizing Weeks over winter break.
Learn the tips for a sharp memory. But please These buildings can become Memory Palaces too. The former U. Memory Champion. James Brown. Brown v. Downloading Ebooks and Textbooks. Download eBook. Shane has been doing college all wrong. Her life has been dorm, dining hall, class, repeat.
Shane signs up for a semester abroad in London. Easier said than done. She is soon faced with the complicated realities of living outside her bubble, and when self-doubt sneaks in, her new life starts to fall apart. Shane comes to find that, with the right amount of courage and determination one can conquer anything. Throw in some fate and a touch of magic - the possibilities are endless.
This dedication has culminated in her debut novel, Again, but Better. Again, but Better: A Novel: Amazon. A Novel. By Christine Riccio.
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